An MBA in motherhood?

So I’ve read this story about the Stay At Home Mom who was asked her occupation at the DMV office and she goes on to list out all her qualifications as a mother. Every time the story gets forwarded to me and I read it, it always brings a smile to my face and somewhere in my heart I say “hmmm I hope all men are reading this and getting the message”.

Recently however, that story has been coming back to me in a whole new perspective. So today I decided to give a shout out to all the SAHMs I know!!! You guys rock!!!

Prior to now, the whole idea of being a SAHM has just been like a “heaven like” thought to me. I’d pictured myself dropping and picking up my kids from school, bringing them home to a warm homemade delicious snack, seating at the table and talking about how their day had been and what great things they did, volunteering at their school and being the loudest cheerleader at their football games……..welcoming hubby back home with the fresh smell of a hot dinner and an “only-for-you” perfumed wife. Infact he would fall in love with me all over again and vow never to let me step into an office. Oooo I never want to wake up from this dream.

I’ve been a SAHM these past 2 months by choice. I’d like to say that I got to live the dream, but at last I discovered that the story of that SAHM is relevant to me as a woman as much as to any man I think should appreciate SAHMs. Now for the records, I am by no means a lazy person. I have fought battles and conquered enemies (in a manner of speaking) in the corporate world. I got the MBA, Professional qualifications, workplace awards, I was a shining star, I was full of energy (or so I thought). Then I decided to take some time off and focus on building my little people into an efficient, performing worldclass team capable of much more than their mama. And since then, my world has turned 360degrees round.

Mother of little people 10, 7 and 4…. at the office even grown men know not to mess with me, how hard can it be to manage just 3 little people? my team was like 30 times that size!!! Then it happened……..

Day One @ School: we had done the drill 3 times the previous week and nailed it. Dresses were selected and spread out the night before, lights went out early to make sure everyone was bright and sharp. But at last!!! No MBA book ever tells you that 5 minutes is more than enough for 3 fully clothed boys to get half naked and engage in a free for all ‘Big Max ride’ (as they call it) romping all over the floor, piggy backing on LP10 with what was left of their clothing, screaming at the top of their lungs like people on a high. Reason for the undress? they did not want to mess up their clothes (how sweet….. but not so when they all start forming “I cant wear it, come and help me” after you use the taskmaster voice to speak them back to a sense of orderliness). We practically run all the 900 metres to school and arrive just as the doors are closing.  The LP10 manages to dash into the doors before they shut, the middle guy LP7….. (well he says its his first day so he needed to catch his breath so as not to arrive panting in case he is asked to introduce himself to the class). So I had to fill the tardy form for getting the Little people to school at 8.51am (instead of 8.50am). And as I did it so humbly I recalled ‘my oga’ that I had serious beef with then who gave me a query in my HR file for coming to work about 5 minutes late (8.05 instead of 8.00) and I recalled all my ranting and raking. Here there was no one to rant to/for. You just had to fill the Tardy form and send the kids up to their classes and work at not being tardy next time 😦

Day 3: We seem to have gotten the hang of it. We had had a long talk the previous night on how we have the Spirit of Excellence on the inside of us and how average was not a word we believed in. They got it… my little people I mean. They were pumped up from my pep talk and ready to take over the world. We got to school at 8.47am yesterday. So today would be another good day I thought……{the silence before the storm}. Then I could hear it, the rumbling, building up to a crescendo, the raised voices shouting “it’s mine!! give me! I don’t want it!! take it!! I’ll tell mummy…. This can’t be happening! who are these battalion of unknown aliens threatening to invade my almost perfect habitat of saneness. I quickly abandoned my makeup (You know I have to show that I have it all together like Bree in Desperate Housewives). “What’s going on here?” I asked in a raised voice. Before me was a sea of half eaten breakfast, lunch boxes yet to be put into backpacks, yet-to-be worn shoes and 2 titans locked in a power struggle with the third bystander lending his voice to the mayhem so as not to be left out of the “fun”. 3 Little people raise their voices to respond at the same time and the tears start to flow as each tries to prove themselves right. And I start another passionate speech about how “after everything I’ve told you people, why would you choose to settle for average? why cant you choose to do the right thing, at the right time and for the right reasons” (a catchy phrase I coined to keep them inspired as part of the mummy gang. Guess I should choose something cooler and shorter next time) and before I know it, I literally begin to cry…. can it really be sooo difficult to get kids to school on time. And when I heard myself telling LP7 “I hope you are happy now that you have made all of us cry” I couldn’t help but feel like the worse ‘agbaya’ on earth. Talk about sending a 7-year old on a guilt trip. We made it to the school perimeter at 8.40am. This time LP 10 & 7 made the dash through the door (guilt talk was still working on LP7 I guess). Lil munchkin got checked into Junior Kindergarten and mummy started her very long, sober, reflective walk home…… How do I use all the Performance Management models I know to drive this team to excellence???