From Acorns to Oak Trees

I am a ‘to-do’ list kind of person. I like checklists and clearly articulated goals. It helps me stay focused  as I tend to ‘over-trade’ with my time. I have always set out New Year targets (not necessarily resolutions) each year and after marriage, have done same with my husband for some years now. This way, we approach the New year with the same focus of things we want to accomplish, making for less uncertainty as to where our resources should be channeled.

This year I read an article written by one of my bosses and friend on managing one’s life like you manage your career. It struck a chord in me and I decided to try something new…..I got the kids to also write out their targets for 2017. I figured it’s never too early to teach them the value of time as a resource and get them to start paying attention to how they spend theirs. My 10 and 7 year olds were usually asked to set their learning targets in their old school for each term so I figured that the subject of goal setting was already familiar to them. We agreed that they would set targets in 3 areas for 2017 – Family, Social and health.

It turns out that the goals they were setting in school then were more or less dictated by the teacher and the children just wrote it out on the sheet as dictated. After taking time to explain what goals  were (things that are important for you to achieve) and why we needed them (so you can measure how much you have done/accomplished), the kids went on to produce their 2017 goals. For first time goal setters, I think they did amazing (overlooking the wrong spellings and mixed-up sentences 🙂 we sure did get some English work done in the process 🙂 ). Here’s a summary of what they put down:

  1.  Get along better with their siblings
  2. Practice being calm and focused
  3. Take up more chore responsibility at home
  4. Improve in academic performance by reading ahead
  5. Be more attentive and obedient to their parents
  6. Eat healthy meals and (for the 7-year-old) add weight!!
  7. Earn more money to help animals in Earth Rangers
  8. Learn and master a new sport

When do we start preparing our children for adulthood? Do we start from the minute they are born? whatever age they are and with what they understand? Do we give them full responsibility for things, no matter how small? More than depending on us to guide and teach them, I believe it is paramount that we bring up our children to make their own choices for the right things and the right reasons. It might seem much easier and less stressful to dictate to and micro manage them. However, we will not always be there and we need to know that they will be true to themselves and not succumb to pressure, whether from us or from their peers. Whilst we provide the foundation for their life, we need to be confident enough to allow them define the music to which they will to dance.

So this year,

I am focused on empowerment…. allowing my children make the right choices, for themselves.

I am focused on convincing, more than compelling, them to make the right choices.

I am focused on nurturing, patiently answering the millionth question.

I am focused on affirmation, seeking out the good more than readily punishing the bad.

I am focused on the war to produce a butterfly rather than the larvae’s battles with the cocoon

I do not expect that it will come easy, I actually do expect to struggle with my helicoptering ways but I commit to giving it my best shot and most importantly having fun all the way!!!!




About AcesNg

Loved by God, my life - His manuscript. Blessed to be wife and mother - our journey, my lifescripts
This entry was posted in Family, motherhood and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to From Acorns to Oak Trees

  1. lydia says:

    Hi dearie, lovely lovely posts.

    As a recent SAHM too, I can totally relate with most of your articles. I also find your write ups engaging, insightful and houghtful.

    I’m trying to convience myself to ease off sometimes and also learn to stop setting milestone milestones. God help us all.

    Well done dearie.

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